Legend of the Godly Wolf -大神伝説-
by Garegga4
Summary: During a free-for-all match between Sonic the Hedgehog, Pikachu, Wolf O'Donnell, and Palutena, something goes wrong and a new form of life is unleashed upon the world. Now, follow the goddess Wolfutena as he tries to have fun with his newfound powers. Note: Though he is now a goddess, Wolfutena still prefers male pronouns.
1. The Genesis of a Superbeing

**Legend of the Godly Wolf -大神伝説-**  
**Prologue: The Genesis of a Superbeing**

**Author's Notes: **So far this fic seems to have been received a bit better than I expected. Even though I had mainly written it for my own amusement, it's gratifying to see others appreciating my absurd sense of humor. Special thanks to Raeror and Rie Sonomura for encouraging me to join the Super Smash Prose discord (a server for Super Smash Bros. stories and art - code: gDX48ua) and share this story there as well as to An Preson Peepul for some feedback on the formatting.

* * *

6:21 PM, April 9, 2020

The Stage: Battlefield  
The Items: Smash Balls Only  
The Fighters: Wolf, Palutena, Sonic, Pikachu

"You're too slow!" Sonic's obnoxious battle cry tore through Wolf O'Donnell as his claws tore through the space the wretched creature had been standing a moment before.

"Where'd you run off to, whelp?" Wolf snarled as he scanned the area in front of him with his single eye. He looked up just in time to see a blue ball hurtling towards his head. Nyow-kapow! Wolf staggered backwards, dazed from the blow. _Curses, this could get ugly._ However, the subsequent hits he had expected did not come. As his head cleared, he saw Palutena deliver the finishing blow to Pikachu, but his nemesis was not in view.

He turned around and saw Sonic homing in on a Smash Ball he had not realized was even on the battlefield. Cursing himself for being so unperceptive, he pulled out his blaster even though it seemed to him that he had no chance of firing it before Sonic could strike the ball. The sphere shattered and from the shards arose seven crystals. The chaos emeralds began orbiting Sonic as their power lifted him off the ground. Before he could transform however, something slammed into his face. He fell to the ground and the emeralds scattered. Holding his bleeding nose, he glanced up to see Palutena gathering up the emeralds, his blood dripping down her shield.

"Hey lady, what do you think you're doing? You don't know how to controls those!" The Goddess merely smirked and began to transform. Her hair began to stir as if blown by the wind and turned gold; her breasts expanded enough to open a slight tear in her dress; her lips turned the same shade of green her hair had been; the lower portion of her dress ripped off, as if caught in a tornado, revealing most of her thighs.

Super Palutena took a deep breath, as if tasting the air for the first time, then began to laugh as she tried flying through the air. Sonic jumped off the stage while Wolf stood his ground and braced for impact. The golden goddess collided with him, and a strange sensation consumed him. Though there was pain, it was not nearly as much as he expected. He felt energy flowing through him and began to shiver as if he were caught in a blizzard. However, an intense heat was threatening to overwhelming him, and the last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was staring at his paws expecting to see them set ablaze any second.

* * *

"Hey, are you okay!" An annoying voice pierced Wolf's already throbbing head, dragging him back into the world of the waking. He opened his eye, to see Sonic and Palutena, both in their normal forms, staring at him with great concern as he lay on the ground. He sat up, and felt a bizarre weight pulling his upper body. He looked down and saw two furry mounds stuck to his chest.

"What is this?" he muttered, then lay back down, dizzy from the effort it took to rise.

"There's no easy way to say this..." Sonic said. Wolf glanced to his side, and saw Pikachu eyeing him with a look one would have if they saw their favorite superstar vomiting on the side of the road. The confused canine closed his eye and began to speak.

"I presume your discount dragon balls screwed up my body somehow, right?" He looked back up at Sonic, who nodded and began to answer.

"I've seen this before..." Sonic paused and exchanged a nervous glance with Pikachu, then continued: "It seems that the emeralds transferred some of Palutena's powers to you." Wolf staggered to his feet and demanded that Palutena let him look into her mirror-shield. She held it up, and Wolf O'Donnell saw that he now had a feminine body, with wide hips, large breasts, and female genitalia. He had somehow lost all his clothes, with the exception of his eyepatch, so he could see green highlights throughout his silver fur, particularly his hair and tail. _You know, I actually look pretty good like this!_ He felt heavenly strength flowing through him and smiled to himself, a grin that Sonic viewed with trepidation.

"Don't worry," the hedgehog said, trying to ignore to worry that was beginning to settle in his chest, "I know how you can get your old body back." The divine dog responded by simply laughing.

"You know, now that I've gotten over the shock, I'm beginning to feel great! Maybe I'll hang onto this body for a while." At this, Palutena finally spoke up.

"No, you will not. You're a dog, not a god. You cannot handle my body." Wolf held up his paw, channeled godly energy into it, then struck Palutena. She cried out in shock, flew back three meters, and plummeted over the edge of the stage.

"I'm afraid you're wrong, sweet little thing. I am entirely capable. Behold the multiverse's newest superbeing, Wolfutena!" He struck a dramatic pose, sticking his chest out, placing his paws behind his head, and holding his tail out to the side. "Witness the power!"

* * *

Wolfutena materialized on a cliff that was completely barren aside from the light of the full moon. "It seems that I've worked out how to warp," he whispered to himself. _And with that, I believe I've mastered all of my sexy powers. Now, the only thing that remains is to find out what to do with them._ He gazed down upon the world from the edge of his cliff.

_Here I am, a proud wolf alone in the dark. However, a true goddess needs followers. Thankfully, with this enticing figure, I'm sure no man could resist the urge to worship me. This world is filled with strong, handsome men that I'd love to have serving me. Terry Bogard, Solid Snake, Ken Masters... oh my me, I haven't the faintest idea where to begin! _He spent a moment deliberating which of these sheep would be an ideal first member of his flock.

_It should be someone knows how to handle themselves around a goddess but also doesn't have a problem letting loose. That boy in the swimsuit with the big sword looks like he knows how to have a good time. Shulk was his name I think. I've heard he was once friends with a goddess, so that's excellent. I'm not sure if he's looking for a new faith but rest assured I can find a way to convert him. When a goddess goes into heat, how can you say no?_

To Be Continuted...


	2. Claws Encounters of the Xeno Sort

**Legend of the Godly Wolf -大神伝説-**

**Claws Encounters of the Xeno Sort**

**Author's Note: **Just in time for Good Friday, here's the next chapter. Though the prologue went over well on the Super Smash Prose discord, I wrote that as well as this chapter with little regard for how they'd be received by others so it's been almost surreal seeing others get into it. Prior to joining the server, I had even believed the following chapter would be a good stopping point. Compared to the prologue, this next chapter is way more pretentious and probably relies "to much" on references (though some are meant to be awkward at least). Nonetheless, all that is meant to keep with the same sense of humor as the prologue, mixing the silly and grandiose. If I continue to enjoy writing this then there will definitely be more. Anyways, get ready!

* * *

7:52 AM, April 10, 2020

"He's such a sexy man: just my type!" Thus spoke Wolfutena as he spotted Shulk lounging on the beach of Delfino Plaza. As he approached Shulk, he found himself growing nervous. _I am a goddess,_ he thought to himself, _how can a mere mortal be making me anxious?_ Shulk was sitting in his swimsuit on the sand and reading a book. Next to him was the Monado, a cell phone which was playing the song "The Wretched Automatons" from _NieR_, and a newspaper. As Wolfutena drew close he noted that the book Shulk was reading was _Dune_ and was seized with inspiration. Standing beside Shulk, he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"A beginning is a very delicate time. Know then that I am Wolfutena, a goddess born from the body of Wolf O'Donnell and the power of the chaos emeralds." He posed to show off his new dress (which was similar to Palutena's but with some darker colors and spikes similar to his old outfit to give it some edge) as Shulk looked up from _Dune_, taken a bit aback at being approached so abruptly.

"Er, hello there. Nice to meet you." He replied, uncertain how exactly to respond to the strange creature before him. There was a moment of silence, then Wolfutena spoke to him once more.

"I see you're reading _Dune_. Did you ever watch the movie? I must say, seeing you in that swimsuit is bringing back fond memories of my favorite part, Sting's steamy scene!" Confused, Shulk looked away from the goddess. _Look at that! He's getting all hot and bothered!_ Wolfutena triumphantly declared to himself.

_I hate that movie_, Shulk thought to himself, _why's she bringing up that awful thing? What do I say?_ "Sting? As in Noriaki Kakyoin's favorite musician? Hang on, I remember... wasn't he playing Feyd-Rautha?" Wolfutena nodded eagerly, licking his lips.

"Yes. Lovely Fay! He looked so hot wearing nothing but that metal speedo. Forgive me for being so direct, but I think you'd look just as sexy in something like that." _This is getting really weird,_ Shulk thought, _how can I get out of this? _

"Um, I never saw the movie." Shulk lied, "We didn't have movies on the Bionis, so I'm more into reading."

"Oh, really? Well, have you ever read _Thus Spoke Zarathustra_?"

"Yeah, of course. I couldn't call myself a _Xenosaga_ fan if I hadn't. The final game was even named after it."

"Well, it's great that you're not one of those fake fans. Anyway, you know what my favorite part of _Zarathustra_ was? The antepenultimate chapter, 'The Ass Festival'! I know I'm biased, being a god myself, but I like how towards the end even Nietzsche basically admitted that humans need gods. Zarathustra had hoped that, following the death of God, mankind could evolve into something greater. However, the moment he left the "higher men" he had invited into his home alone, they began to worship a donkey! All of them, from the unemployed pope to the murderer of God, needed something to worship, even if it was an ass."

He turned around and lifted his tail, displaying his posterior to the young man before him. "Especially if it's an ass!" Shulk was rendered speechless for nearly a minute by this display, and Wolfutena savored the success of his seduction. His silver and green tail waved like a truce flag, except instead of him surrendering to Shulk it would be the other way around. Eventually Shulk regained his voice, stood up, and began speaking with a colder tone than before.

"Well, my favorite chapter from that book was 'On Passing By'. It's impressive how Nietzsche was able to call out the pseudo-intellectual edgelords who would go on to expound and emulate his work for their own twisted ends. I would advise you to go and read that bit again before trying to discuss that book, or anything else for that matter, with me. Star Wolf does not need more than one ape, more than one grunting swine!"

The nervousness Wolfutena felt when first glimpsing Shulk began to return to him and his left ear began to twitch. "Now Shulk, darling, I've heard that you possess clairvoyance that surpasses even the hero of _Dune_; surely you can see your destiny as one of my most cherished servants. Besides, it's okay for humans to give in to their desires and any sprightly young man would yearn to serve a beautiful goddess, especially one as generous as I. For all my followers, every day ends with an ass festival!"

The Homs responded by making a retching sound and followed it up with, "Oh, the nausea! After that remark, what I need is a Tums festival." He laughed and the wolf joined in despite not getting the joke, hopeful that the mood was getting lighter. However, when Shulk spoke up again his voice was firm. "Wolfutena, listen to me. I'm not entirely sure what you're playing at here, but I promise you that you will not have your way with me. Please, just accept that and pass by." Wolfutena grinned and bared his fangs.

"You know Shulk, I have not had this body long. I still need to get adjusted to my sexy powers. I'm not sure how much I can hold myself back once I start to really let loose, so if you resist things may get very rough for you. One cannot go against the word of a goddess."

Shulk sighed and answer, "You absolutely have no idea what I've been through, do you? I've dealt with your sort before, mortals who think they're gods just because they've stumbled across some power. Last time I had to deal with someone like that it didn't turn out well for them and I really don't want to see something like that happen again. However, if you won't pass by I might not have a choice."

_What is he talking about?_ Wolfutena wondered, but he did not dwell on the question. "Well, it certainly seems like you'll provide a nice warm-up for my new position!" He placed a paw on Shulk's shoulder and dug his claws into the skin, blood welling up around them. "Verily, I have often laughed at the weaklings who thought themselves good because they had no claws."

Shulk slapped the god's paw away, scattering crimson droplets across the beach. Wolfutena's single eye reflected a myriad of emotions as he glared at Shulk whilst sensually licking the boy's blood from his claws, savoring the metallic tang of hemoglobin. Shulk eyed this behavior with quiet fury as memories and feelings he had tried to pass by returned to him.

"Looks like we don't have a choice." Shulk despondently whispered as he reached for something something on the sand. _Does he actually think the Monado is enough to stop me?_ Wolfutena asked himself, smirking at what he saw as naive, futile resistance. However, when he saw what else Shulk had picked up, terror instantly purged all traces of amusement from his face: the lad may as well have been wielding the gom jabbar.

In one hand Shulk held the Monado at his side but in his other he was brandishing a rolled-up newspaper. Despite his godly powers, fear -the mind killer- saturated Wolfutena's entire being and he felt his animal instincts taking control of his mind and body. The almighty goddess began to plead for mercy.

"Shulk, please, I did all this only as a game..."

At this point "The Wretched Automatons" finished playing and "The Dark Colossus Destroys All" (also from the _NieR_ soundtrack) began to play.

"Do you honestly expect me to buy the 'it was just a prank, bro' act? You were being _serious_, you foaming fool, you rabid dog! Your actions have crossed too many lines to be tolerated." Shulk held up the Monado, and a blue "疾" appeared in the centre. "Monado, show me the way!"

At this sight Wolfutena's fight-or-flight response finally took over completely. He turned tail and fled, the thoughts of his sexy powers almost totally driven from his mind. He was at least able to recall that his divine abilities allowed him to float above the water so as he began to glide above the surf he assumed that he had reached safety. However, he heard splashing behind him and looked back to see Shulk charging at him with such speed that he was able to sprint atop the waves. He looked down and began sprinting as hard as he could, trying to stay ahead of Shulk until the speed art wore off. Though he was fleet of foot, it was no match for the power of the Monado and before long he felt blows raining down on him.

"Bad dog! Bad dog!" Shulk bellowed as he struck the naughty goddess with the newspaper. Eventually the assault stopped and Wolfutena looked back, expecting to at last see his assailant halted. However, what he saw did not fill him with relief but instead despair. Shulk had leaped into the air; in one hand he held the newspaper above his head and in the other he brandished the Monado beneath his face, a red "撃" proudly displayed in the centre.

"SMASH!" Shulk cried as he hurled the newspaper towards Wolfutena. The impact launched the heavenly being up skyward while Shulk plunged down into the ocean. The wielder of the god-slaying sword resurfaced, watched the canine comet careen into the mesosphere, and shouted after it, "I'm not that kind of guy!"


	3. Resurrection of the Goddess -女神転生-

**Legend of the Godly Wolf -大神伝説-**

**Resurrection of the Goddess -女神転生-**

**Author's Note: So, I've finally gotten back to this. I sort of wanted to take my time to think over what direction I wanted to take this in from here. The next chapters will come out a bit more quickly. This chapter continues on in largely the same style as the previous one. I've also started uploading this to AO3. The version of this chapter there has an image of Joker's card which probably makes the joke more clear.  
**

* * *

8:23 PM, April 12, 2020

It was a dreadfully dark night, moonless and cloudy. Dracula's Castle stood faintly silhouetted against what little starlight there was and inside a top-secret meeting was taking place between those whom Wolfutena had humiliated. The attendees were gathered around a table in the center of what used to be the throne room, with Palutena standing at its head.

"Then it is settled," the goddess declared to her audience. "Since 'The Four Devas' is too cliche and 'The Four Fiends' is too sinister, we shall henceforth be known as 'The Four Friends'." She paused and looked over her audience. Sonic was sitting with his legs folded atop the table, watching her attentively. Pikachu was curled up in his chair, seemingly asleep. Rather than using his seat at the table, Shulk was sulking in the background, leaning against a pillar with his arms crossed.

She smirked and spoke again. "Soon, we shall bring the _Legend of the Godly Wolf _to an abrupt and brutal end!"

"The legend!" Shulk scoffed, "It is nothing more than a silly little tail: a tail told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

"Hey, take it easy, both of you!" Sonic interjected. "This problem can be solved without any villains. Like I said, Pikachu and I know how to take care of this. By the way, you've been acting weird, Shulk. Are you feeling okay?"

The Homs shook his head, replying "No, not really," but was either unable or unwilling to elaborate.

Palutena cleared her throat and continued speaking. "Sonic, your knowledge of the situation is impressive but I don't think you understand what Wolf is capable of. By the time we could put your plans into action, it would probably be too late to stop that impostor. Besides, all that dimensional stuff sounds a bit risky. No, we must take him down as surely and swiftly as possible. I've already sent my toughest servant after him, so it should nearly be time for my divine retribution."

* * *

Wolfutena needed a drink. After being launched beyond the sky by Shulk he had recalled that he could warp wherever he wanted and so returned to his room, spending most of the next day too ashamed and depressed to do much but sleep. However, at this point he had recovered enough to venture back out into the world.

He waltzed through the halls of the Smash Hotel and entered what had once been a ballroom. Of course, it'd hadn't been used as such since the hotel began serving as an abode for Smashers but the vast room still offered peace and quiet to weary minds and most importantly had a bar. The bar was staffed by Brewster working as the bartender and Lloid the gyroid mixing drinks. Its current patrons were Terry Bogard and Joker; they watched Wolfutena as he entered, then turned away and began a whispered conversation with each other, snickering all the while.

_It seems news of my defeat has already spread._ The goddess thought bitterly. As he drew close, the two newcomers rose from their seats and silently walked towards the exit. Wolfutena kept his gaze fixed on them as they retreated, wary that they would try pulling something. However, the sound of a glass being placed before him snapped his attention away. Brewster had just placed a blue drink before him.

"Hang on, what is this? I haven't ordered anything yet?"

"Vista of the Gods, an exquisite sake from Kamiki Village in Nippon. Those gentlemen got it for you. Mr. Bogard said it was a gift from the hungry wolf to the thirsty wolf." Wolfutena glanced behind him. Terry met his gaze and waved as he rounded the corner, slipping from view.

Still suspicious, the canine took a closer look at the drink and noticed a playing card sticking out from underneath it. _Wait, is this one of Joker's Calling Cards? _He wondered. He yanked it out from underneath the glass and scrutinized it. It seemed like an ordinary ace of spades aside from some writing around the symbol in the center. The text read "Someone needs to have this bitch" with the word "bitch" to the left of the spade symbol and a series of exclamation points to the right.

It took Wolfutena a few seconds to decipher its meaning but once he did he growled and tore apart the card, outraged by the insult. Desperate for something to take his mind off of the mockery he received and would continue to receive from the other fighters, he picked up his sake and downed half of it in one gulp. However, something was very off.

"What the hell? This is just water!" Indeed, the liquid within was no longer its former vibrant blue but instead as clear and boring as the most plain water imaginable. "What tricks are you pulling?" He snarled at Brewster and Lloid. The bartender was at a loss for words and the gyroid began to stammer that he had no idea what happened. Before he could finish however, another voice from behind Wolfutena offered an answer.

"Goddess's burden, Lloid my man, goddess's burden." Wolfutena looked behind him once more, to see Pit standing before him.

"What are you babbling about?" He snapped at the angel.

"It's one of the powers you stole from Lady Palutena. In her divine presence, even the most disgusting and deadly poisons are turned into the pure, clean water."

"Look, I didn't 'steal' anything from her. That daft deity forced the chaos emeralds' energy into me. I thought it would be fun at first but these powers have brought me nothing but trouble. I mean, look at this!" He held up the card Joker had left. Pit gazed at it with a blank expression and then looked away, embarrassed.

"Actually, I, um, I can't read." The angel admitted sheepishly.

"What? Why not?" the wolf inquired, genuinely curious and slightly concerned.

"Lady Palutena doesn't think it's worth it for me to learn. Apparently some old Greek dude called Soykratos or something said that reading can make you dumber and she said that's not a risk I can afford to take."

"Are you talking about Socrates? I suppose Palutena's technically right. The _Phaedrus_ by Plato does quote Socrates basically saying that if you read too much you'll forget how to think for yourself. Honestly though, Socrates was full of shit. Did he seriously think people would just take everything they read at face value and not question any of it? Of course, that's the least of his issues. However, 'The Problem of Socrates' in _Twilight of the Idols_ probably explains all that much better than I could." He paused his speech, rose from his seat, and took a step towards Pit before continuing, "Honestly, it's concerning that Palutena is telling you these things. It sounds sort of controlling, dare I say abusive. Have you ever thought of spending some time away from her, to think over your own feelings?"

Pit scowled at him and bitterly replied, "What, trying to tempt me into your cult? Leave me be! I'll never bend to your will, demon!"

This contempt took Wolfutena aback. "Demon?" he muttered incredulously. _God or demon - what am I?_ He asked himself. _It's time for me to choose my path_. "Look," he said, "I think I've made some mistakes. I just got carried away when these powers were thrust upon me and wanted to experiment with them. I was selfish though. I wanted to lord my newfound strength over others. I seriously thought of building my own religion, my own flock of blind followers. What a ridiculous idea: a wolf as a shepherd! I don't want anyone to worship me anymore so don't let me order you around. It's just concerning to me, how Palutena treats you."

Pit was silent for a moment, gazing intently at Wolfutena, then asked, "Well, could you teach me to read?"

Wolfutena laid his ears back, suspicious of this sudden change of heart. "Are you sure? Didn't you just say I was a demon trying to lure you away from your goddess?"

Pit shrugged and answered, "Well, you know you screwed up and I think that's the important thing. Besides, you were right on some things. Lady Palutena can be a bit much. I think I do need a break from her. Plus, if anyone can teach me how to read it's you. You must be really smart. You've read all those books and you can even fly a spaceship. Heck, you're probably smarter than Einstein! He only ever talked about space travel and stuff; he never actually did any of that. Plus, you know how to tie your shoes."

"Huh?" Wolftena was completely bewildered by that last comment. His ears pricked up again as he inquired, "What does that have to do with anything?"

Pit grinned, thrilled to know something that the lupine goddess didn't, and was unable to keep smugness from tingeing his voice as he answered, "Yeah, Einstein didn't know how to tie his shoes. That's why he invented Velcro."

Wolfutena couldn't think of any reasonable way to reply to such nonsense so he simply decided to ignore it. Instead he explained, "Oh, I'm definitely not smarter than Einstein. I can't wrap my head around theoretical physics. However, if I may be candid, I will admit to having a soft spot for 'experimental physics,' though I'm not sure you're ready for such an encounter." He drew closer to Pit, grinning mischievously as he leaned in so that his face was mere inches from the angel's, attempting a wink although with only one eye it was indistinguishable from simply blinking. His confidence had obviously been resurrected and it had not even taken three days.

Pit didn't entirely understand what was being suggested since he was not familiar with the works of Voltaire but knew enough to be concerned and backed away. "Hey, I thought you were going to knock it off with that!" he objected.

Wolfutena sighed and replied, "Fair enough. I've learned to respect people's boundaries: there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. However, I will certainly enjoy dancing atop that line. I shall show you the power of the well-read dog!"


	4. Angelus Errare

**Legend of the Godly Wolf -大神伝説-**

**Angelus Errare**

**Author's Notes: This chapter turned out a bit longer than I was expecting and certainly longer than previous chapters. I suppose it is fitting, as a good portion of the content (Pit and Wolfutena geeking out over shooting games) is meant to be especially inane. Anyways, I've added specific times and dates to this and previous chapters. This is sort of a parody of an aspect of Sonichu where some chapters would be set on specific dates that were significant to their creator (such as November 3, 2007) but it's mainly because I thought it would be funny to have chapters set on days like Easter and Good Friday. The exact times don't seem as interesting though. Perhaps I could give them numerological significance (like 11:11 symbolizing beginnings) but that seems like it would be a pain to work with. The previous chapters' times are based on songs referenced in them. For example, "Small Two of Pieces" from the _Xenogears_ soundtrack by Yasunori Mitsuda is six minutes and twenty-one seconds long so "The Genesis of a Superbeing" takes place at 6:21 PM. Also, the Shakespeare quotes in this chapter are all from Act 2, Scene 2 of _The Tempest_. That about covers everything. Enjoy!**

* * *

11:11 PM, April 12, 2020

"He truly is the fastest thing alive - fastest thing at being an asshole, that is." Palutena fumed as she paced around the Four Friends' lair. Shulk and Pikachu were also present but there was no sign of Sonic.

"Check this out," Shulk said to Pikachu. He pulled a pair of sunglasses so dark that they were nearly opaque out of his pocket and bragged, "Albert Wesker let me borrow his glasses!" He put the shades on and attempted a sneer. "What do you think?" he asked the Pokemon.

The sight of the dark eyewear on the usually bright lad's face struck Pikachu as somehow unnatural. _This is borderline experimental,_ he thought but, too uncomfortable to speak up, he simply looked away, concerned over what this new look might evince for the Homs.

"Alright, I'm here!" Sonic called out as he casually strolled into the room. "Hey Shulk, how ya doing?" he asked as he strutted past Shulk on his way to his seat at the table.

"Not good," the young man replied. "I'm losing it." This answer caught Sonic off guard and brought him to a halt.

He struggled to think of what best to say and slowly began to speak. "Okay, well just-"

"Sonic, this is an emergency meeting!" Palutena interrupted. "I guess you don't care about us and our mission, though, or maybe you're just unbelievably ignorant."

"Hey, I was with my girlfriend when this came up! It was only our second date so I couldn't just up and leave in the middle of it. I figured I could wrap things up and rush over and not miss much. I mean, we already had a meeting today!"

"Sonic, that's a far lamer excuse than I would have expected, even from you. The second date is not nearly as important as the first or third and even those pale in comparison to the gravity of your sacred duty to the Four Friends!"

Pikachu watched this argument with bated breath but Shulk had lost interest and began reading a collection of short stories by Franz Kafka to pass the time. He figured it would take a while for things to be resolved but Sonic was already beginning to apologize. "Okay, sorry, sorry, it won't happen again." the blue blur acquiesced. "So, what is this emergency exactly?"

Palutena took a deep breath, attempting to regain her composure before continuing. "We've been betrayed. Wolfutena has gained his first follower and it was Pit!" Pikachu gasped at this revelation, Sonic's eyes widened, and even Shulk glanced up from _The Metamorphosis_ for a moment.

Practicing his sneer again, he quipped "So Pit and Wolfutena hooked up, eh?" then returned to his reading. Pikachu wondered if Shulk could even actually see with those shades on or if he was simply pretending to read.

Palutena grimaced, an ugly look tarnishing a pretty face, then continued. "As I feared, Wolfutena is quite cunning. We'll have to assemble all the help we can muster to take him down now. Thankfully, Smash is full of those who are eager to support a righteous cause or will at least take on a tough job for the right price. However, we'll have to work tirelessly to get this done before it's too late. Sonic, I hope your date went well because you won't be seeing your girlfriend again for a while."

Sonic scowled, though his tone was civil as he asked, "Is that really necessary?"

Plautena nodded. "We can't be certain what the consequences of failure are but I wouldn't assume you'll still have a girlfriend if you screw this up. Who knows what evil that false god and his delusional acolyte are plotting as we speak?"

* * *

"Here you are, Isabelle: a Long Island iced tea with no alcohol." Wolfutena extended an arm out, gripping a glass of amber liquid, and the short shih tzu before him stood on her toes to pluck it from his paw. They were standing in Pit's room at the Smash Hotel, room 239, and the angel was sitting on one of the beds playing a game on his Switch. After they had encountered Isabelle on their way to his room they had invited her along to witness some of Wolfutena's new tricks.

Isabelle inspected the glass and remarked, "Wow, it looks just the same this time. Are you sure you did anything to it?"

Wolfutena feigned offense and snarled, "What, are you accusing me of something?"

"No, no, not at all. I was just caught of guard by, um, how subtle the change was. Your talents are truly stunning, my goddess." Isabelle hastily replied, as flustered as she was on her busiest days at work.

Wolfutena quickly answered, "Settle down there, I'm just pulling your leg. There's no need for flattery either, though I don't mind too much. I'm not trying to show off. I just want to find ways I could be helpful. I know you've had trouble with drinking due to your small stature so I thought my newfound abilities could come in useful, is all. We don't want a repeat of your lunch incident, after all."

She blushed as he uttered that last sentence, and in a soft, mortified whisper asked, "You know about that?"

"I'm afraid everyone knows about that." He solemnly stated. Isabelle glumly gazed at her drink for a moment. However, she quickly brightened up again.

"Well, if this works out I'll tell everyone how nice you've gotten since that transformation!" she promised.

Wolfutena grinned at her words and commanded, "Come, swear to that. Kiss the book. I will furnish it anon with new contents. Swear." Isabelle looked at him quizzically and Pit called out "Wait, what?" _It seems that neither of them are acquainted with Shakespeare, _Wolfutena concluded. He gestured for Isabelle to take a drink and she obliged.

"Hmm, a bit watered down, but aside from that it tastes perfectly normal. I'm not really feeling tipsy yet though, so I think it's still working" she mused, then took another sip of the transmuted liquor.

"See, I told you I'm getting the hang of this. Soon you won't be able to tell I've worked my magic on it. I'm not just some mere water-to-wine drink exchanger. What I really want to try messing with, however, is some of Pit's water of life..." He and Isabelle looked over at the angel. Noticing them watching him, he looked up from his Switch.

"Are you done with all that then? Can we start playing now?" Pit asked.

"I suppose so," Wolfutena replied. "What was it you wanted to show us again? Some sort of shooter?" He walked over to Pit's bed. He saw that Pit's Switch was in some of of contraption that held it vertically between the Joy-Cons, in what shoot-em-up enthusiasts would refer to as "tate mode." However, what Pit was playing was not a vertical-scrolling shooter but rather some sort of top-down run-and-gun in the vein of _Commando_.

"It's called _Gain Ground_. It's this intense action game from Sega and it even supports three players, so Isabelle can join in too!" Wolfutena observed Pit play some more. The drab color pallet and backgrounds, glacial pace of the characters and projectiles, and droning music failed to impress him.

"Looks kind of dull, to be honest. Besides, I've never been into run and gun games as much as shmups or old-school first-person-shooters like _Doom_,_ Blood_, and_ Rise of the Triad." _he told Pit bluntly, causing the winged boy to look down sullenly. However, Isabelle spoke up.

"You know, I used to think I wouldn't like those shooting games at all - too much blood and violence and all that. For some reason, I decided to try out that new _Doom _game though and I found myself getting really into it. Sure, some moments can be a bit gross, but it's just so exciting that I can't help myself." She paused for a second, feeling a bit self-conscious as the angel and the goddess stared at her. "Anyways, the point is that sometimes you'd be surprised what you can enjoy when you give it a try."

In response, Wolfutena shrugged and said, "Well, alright. Go and set it up, Pit." The angel jumped up and ran over to the TV. He reset the game, placed the Switch in the dock, and grabbed another controller.

"You're going to love this!" Pit declared as he handed off the Joycons to Isabelle and Wolfutena, then turned on the TV. After the SEGA AGES intro, the title screen popped up with various options. "Do you want to play 'Original Mode' or 'Full Member Mode'?" the winged lad asked, then explained, "In 'Original Mode' you had to rescue the other characters to play as them but in 'Full Member Mode' they're all unlocked from the start."

_Hang on,_ Wolfutena wondered, _did they seriously call it "Full Member Mode?"_ Staring at the title screen he could clearly see that the second option, beneath "Original Mode," was indeed called "Full Member Mode." _They really did! Do they know that means?_ He cleared his throat and told Pit, "You know, following my transformation, I imagine most guys who see me will be in full member mode." He turned and gazed into Pit's eyes, smiling sweetly and sweeping a paw through his glossy hair. However, Pit and Isabelle were too innocent to pick up on what he was suggesting.

"Huh, what do you mean?" Pit asked as he gawked at the luscious lupine lady.

Wolfutena ceased his flirtatious behavior, a bit annoyed. "How do I say this? I'll be to all the boys what the Mona Lisa was to Yoshikage Kira. Minus the whole turning into a serial killer thing, hopefully." His meaning still didn't seem to register with them. "Never mind," he said, shrugging, "I suppose 'Original Mode' will be fine."

They started playing the game and Pit began to explain all the nuances; how all of the 20 characters had different attributes and abilities, how you had a chance to rescue defeated characters to use them again in the next stage, how certain projectiles had different heights and could go over some characters and obstacles, etc. Wolfutena could see that there was a fair amount of depth to the game, even if Sega had dropped the ball on presentation. He even found that what it lacked in speed it made up for with the density of enemies and their attacks. It quickly got quite intense and their first game over came fairly quickly, at the hands of some guards raining arrows down on them from atop the walls of a fortress.

As they started over, Pit began hypothesizing how the different characters' skills may compliment each other to make things easier, then confessed, "I never actually got to play this in co-op before. Lady Palutena always said she was too busy and Dark Pit said it looked boring and stupid or something like that. I'm glad I get to try it now though. I'm so excited!"

"You really like this game, don't you?" Wolfutena asked. The former captain of Palutena's guard grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

"_Gain Ground_ is the best game ever made! It is so fantastic. Everyone in the world knows that game." he ejaculated with a fervor Wolfutena hadn't seen from him yet.

_I don't think I'd go that far: maybe 38th best, _the wolf thought to himself, then asked, "Are you sure you're not getting a little carried away there? I know you're trying to fire us up right now, but surely there's something you enjoy even more, right?" Pit paused the game and contemplated that inquiry for so long that Wolfutena feared he had asked something he shouldn't have. Eventually an answer came.

"Well, games where you fly are fun, like _Space Harrier_ or _Dead Phoenix. _I guess those are even better than _Gain Ground_." Wolfutena nodded and reflected on those choices. _Space Harrier - now that's more my speed. Dead Phoenix, on the other hand..._

"I thought _Dead Phoenix_ was the one that Capcom hyped up as a GameCube exclusive and then canceled. Are you sure you've got the name right?"

"Yeah, it's definitely _Dead Phoenix_. Sure, they delayed it a little but I don't think they ever got close to canceling it. Why would they do that to such an awesome game? Mixing shooting and strategy elements is such a cool idea but my favorite part is just flying around those massive levels. If only I could fly like that in real life." Pit paused to savor that fantasy before concluding, "I couldn't imagine anything worse than living in a world without _Dead Phoenix_." Wolfutena still wasn't convinced that Pit's recollection was accurate. He asked if it was like _Herzog Zwei_ in 3D, hoping to get more details, but Pit didn't know of that game so Wolfutena dropped the subject of _Dead Phoenix _altogether.

"Well, I do really like _Space Harrier_." he said, shifting the subject. "I've heard that Bayonetta is a humongous fan of that one as well. Did you ever talk with her about it?"

Pit shook his head. "Nah, I don't think I'd get along with Bayonetta. I've heard she doesn't like angels very much. Lady Palutena told me to stay away from her and, honestly, she is pretty scary. I don't want to know what goes down in her fantasy zone."

Wolfutena was tempted to concur with Pit but before he could do so Isabelle chimed in. "I don't think you should be so quick to judge. She may have her dark side fully on display but I think there's more to her. Just because of she can look and act a bit intimidating doesn't mean that she's a mean person on the inside. I mean, look at Wolfutena: before his transformation he was a frightful sight to behold but now his good side is starting to show; maybe Bayonetta could do the same with you, Pit." Pit nodded contemplatively as her words sunk in but Wolfutena cocked his head and scrutinized the dog.

"I certainly didn't expect you of all people to be defending Bayonetta." He began saying, a slight teasing edge to his voice. "I thought it was all sunshine and rainbows with you; tell me, is there something you're hiding inside as well, some side you don't want people to see." This was meant in good fun but Isabelle was unable to meet his gaze, obviously uncomfortable.

"Can we talk about something else?" She pleaded.

"Fine, whatever. So, Pit, what was that thing you were playing on, that controller thing the Switch was in?" Wolfutena grinned as he delivered this question, not because of what he was saying but because in his mind he was still imagining Isabelle imitating Bayonetta to get in touch with her dark side. He took another look at his fellow canine to size her up. _Some witch she'd make: I don't think she'd even reach up to Bayo's hips._

Pit's reply snapped his attention back to reality. "Oh, it's called a Flip Grip. It holds the Switch sideways so you can play those shumps and stuff like they were meant to be. Jeremy Parish from Retronauts invented it and is selling it on Fangamer. What a wonderful creation! How could I ever repay him?" Pit thought this over a moment, then whispered into his new goddess's pricked ears, "Well, I suppose I could..."

The wolf's jaw gaped as Pit detailed his depraved fantasies of "Sweet JP," as he called him. "Oh, my!" Wolfutena cried out once Pit finished detailing his flights of fantasy. "I didn't expect a servant of the Goddess of Light to be so naughty!"

Pit began to blush as he realized what he had just said yet he did not look away. "Well, maybe I did get a little carried away," he admitted, "but the Flip Grip is seriously awesome. Something like _Ikaruga_ is so much better in handheld mode with it."

Wolfutena swished the tip of his tail back and forth anxiously. "Can I complain about something real quick? I've never liked _Ikaruga_ much. It has a decent gimmick but that's really all it has going for it. It's not bad exactly, just a bit too simplistic, but it's unbelievably overrated. I certainly have no 'frothing demand' for it. I don't think I'd be so hard on it if Treasure didn't steal the polarity switching from Raizing's _Dimahoo_. I suppose _Dimahoo_'s elemental system didn't work quite as well but it more than makes up for that with its complex scoring system and badass presentation. _Ikaruga's_ entire art direction doesn't have the amount of personality you could find in a single character from the _Mahou Daisakusen_ series, especially someone like Miyamoto the samurai dragon!"

Isabelle was about to interject that, for a game like _Ikaruga, _perhaps there could be beauty in simplicity. However, Wolfutena wasn't quite done with his rant. "M2 has been creating astounding ports of some of Raizing and Cave's best work recently but most of those are only on PlayStation 4. I can't believe we have the complete Psikyo catalog on Switch but not a masterpiece like _Battle Garegga_!"

His rant concluded, he leaned back in his seat, panting slightly. His companions weren't sure how to respond at first. However, after a while, Pit remarked, "Well, at least you have good taste in Raizing characters. _Battle_ _Garegga_ has great music too, especially stage four's theme. I can never get that far on one credit though. The rank system was a mistake."

Wolfutena tensed up again, preparing to launch into an impassioned defense of the dynamic difficulty systems that Shinobu Yagawa seemed to enjoy implementing in his games, but thought better of it and relaxed, calmly stating, "Well, the rank system can be overwhelming at first. The PS4 version makes it much more transparent however; you should give that a shot if you can. I'll also concede that some of Psikyo's games can be good too. The _Gunbird_ games are actually pretty funny. I like, in the first one, when Ash called that old dude a fa-"

The sound of a door opening cut off their dialogue. Dark Pit walked through the doorway, glimpsed the goddess, and backed out again. "Oh, hell no." he muttered as he shut the door.

"Your roommate, I presume?" Wolfutena asked Pit. The angel nodded.

"He's just shy." he explained. Isabelle stood up.

"I think I should try talking to him." she offered and, when no one raised any objections, she grabbed her Long Island iced tea and exited the room.

* * *

"Hey, wait a second!" Isabelle called out to Dark Pit, who had been walking down the hall but stopped at the sound of her voice.

"I want no part in this." he stated without turning around. Isabelle stepped around him to his front.

Pleadingly gazing up at him, she inquired "Why not? Is something the matter?"

Dark Pit shook his head. "Not really, I just don't liked drama. Haven't you heard the rumors? Believe me, there's going to be a ton of trouble following that mutt."

"Ignore what you've heard." Isabelle ordered, her voice and expression growing stern. "He's not so bad once you get to know him and I think he genuinely wants to turn over a new leaf." Dark Pit looked away and stayed silent. She walked up to him and held up her glass in front of his face. "Look, he even made me a drink and used his new powers to transmute all the alcohol out."

The angel smiled wryly. "He can do that? Really? Are you sure he's not just saying that so he can recreate your lunch incident and reduce you to a howling monster, a drunken monster?" Since Isabelle was unacquainted with Shakespeare, as Wolfutena had assessed earlier, she was confused and a little hurt at being called a monster. Nonetheless, she remained firm.

"I haven't been around him long but he's definitely not plotting any evil schemes. I swear you can trust him." she insisted. Dark Pit crossed his arms and closed his eyes but slowly nodded.

"Fine, I believe you. However, I think your goddess is the one who should be worried about who he can trust." he warned.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Isabelle asked.

"Oh, never mind." Dark Pit replied, waving his hand dismissively as if to swipe that subject away. "So, was Pit forcing you to play _Gain Ground_?"

Isabelle smiled. "Yeah, he was, actually. I was kinda starting to get into it. You should join us." she said, forgetting that the game only supported up to three players.

Dark Pit shrugged and said, "I'm not really interested in playing but I'll hang out with you guys. Just give me a second to myself out here, alright?"

Isabelle beamed at the solemn angel. "Great!" she exclaimed, then held out her paw to him. "Can you promise me that? Can you do a pinky swear?" Dark Pit nearly voiced some complaints about that juvenile manner of creating agreements (surely this wasn't how secretaries normally handled contracts) but decided it was best to play along.

"Fine, whatever." he grumbled as he stretched his hand out. The smallest digits of the paw and hand interlocked. Rather than making a spoken promise the angel nodded his head curtly, trying not to show any signs of embarrassment. Isabelle accepted this, suspecting it was the most eloquent vow the stoic lad would offer, and they separated.

"See you in a minute." she told him as she started walking back to Pit's apartment. She opened the door of room 239 and left it ajar as she entered. As Dark Pit watched the yellow tail slip into the room he couldn't help but smile to himself a little.

"I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster."


End file.
